OUR DEAR MELANCHOLY
As I stood at the edge of the roof ready to fall, thoughts of him ran through my mind. He was the only thing that meant anything to me and since I couldn’t be with him then I had no reason to live.
My service year was as boring as it could get till the sixth month when I met a man that swept me off my feet, made me stand and fall again. He was the prettiest thing I had ever come across and the way he spoke, the things he said, the way he looked and me, the way he held my hand, the way he kissed my lips, and the way he filled my soul with passion was surreal.
It was too much for me but I liked it, I had never felt that way for anyone before and I was sure I’ll never feel the same way for anybody else in my life. He was the love of my life, my knight in shining armor, my everything.
It was approaching the end of my service year and I knew I needed to go back to my state. Lagos is 45mins away from Calabar by air and seeing Moses wasn’t going to be such a big deal but my parents had kept a man for me. A man I was supposed to marry immediately I get back home. I had cried to my mum multiple times explaining reasons why I couldn’t marry Jerry to her. I made her speak to Moses and his family just to prove how nice they were and how much he loved me. My mum understood but she stood by her husband telling me about how Jerry was the best choice for me and how he was carefully selected by my father to take very good care of me and keep me happy.
Jerry is the son of my dad’s best friend and business partner, I have known him since I was a kid, I hated him. When we played as kids he smashed my toys or hit me. He was too quick to anger and as we grew up we stopped seeing or talking as much cos we Schooled in different countries.
I held Moses close to me, wiping the tears off his face and kissing his forehead. I was sad too but seeing my baby cry broke me completely I couldn’t bring myself to cry. He begged me to stay, I wanted to but I couldn’t because I knew my father and staying with Moses would risk his life. As we laid down in bed holding each other like siblings hiding from a monster, I looked at him and he stared back, his eyes filled with sadness and pain, I couldn’t hold my tears back and I started to cry and apologize for causing him such pain.
” You have been my greatest source of joy, my best friend, my lover and my confidant. I don’t mind you being my pain too because I’m not sure I can ever feel this much pain in my life again, but the last thing I want is to see you cry” Moses said this wiping my tears and kissing my lips. I held him close and kissed him back, pushing my body very close to him. He was wearing the Pyjamas trouser while I wore the shirt. He unbuttoned my shirt and I laid with my panties as he came on top of me. He looked me in my eyes so intently as he caressed my hair with his hands.
He enveloped my b***s in his hands rubbing my nipples and looking at me, we started smiling at each other and then laughing… laughing with echoing sounds of sadness but it was the happiest we had been in a while. I pushed my body upwards and kissed his lips, he kissed me back and we continued kissing like it was our first and last. In a swift moment, Moses was on his knees in front of me and my legs suspended in the air. I could feel his warm breath at my wet entrance, before I realized it, his tongue was licking all the honey off my honey pot. I wanted to put his head inside of me and keep it there forever. My waist started rocking hard, moving with the Rhythm of his tongue as he ate me so hard and fast I couldn’t help but scream with pleasure … Mosesssss!!!! . As soon as he heard his name, he got up exposing his rod that was almost tearing the pyjamas, I laid there waiting to be hit and hit good. I used my legs to pull the trouser and then I grabbed his chocolate rod and helped it find its way to my honey pot. Moses went deep inside of me whining his waist as I contracted my muscles and held him. We were breathing heavily, with the same rhythm then he started going in and out of me as I moved my waist to match his pace. I wasn’t satisfied enough so I pushed him and laid on top arching my back as I inserted the full length of his huge straining rod inside me. I could feel my cervix move. He grabbed my b***s, squeezing one and fondling the nipples of the other, I was filled with excitement, with pleasure, with passion… I was dripping honey mixed with milk and I could feel Moses grow bigger Inside of me, I kept grinding him like my mama taught me to grind pepper and he was enjoying it. Dodeye i’m cuuuuuuuu…… I didn’t let him finish as I jumped off and moved down to his rod, inserting it into my mouth and swallowing all the juice from it. I licked it from top to bottom, making sure I didn’t miss a spot. He laid down there singing praises to me. I focused on the tip with my tongue, cleaning all the Precum off it as I slowly went as low as possible, deepthroating him. He kept rubbing my hair, guiding me, creating the rhythm. I sucked, licked, kissed, twirled my tongue around his rod, quick and fast paced then I felt him moving his waist violently… I held him down and inserted his rod deep into my throat, going in and out … I could feel all the liquid deep inside my throat as I licked off the rest and went up to lay beside him. He kissed my forehead and held me close whispering the songs of Solomon into my ears.
I cried from the moment I left my house in Lagos till I got back to Calabar and into my room. I saw different messages from Moses telling me how much he loves me, misses me and how he hopes the universe would favour us and bring me back to him. I replied that I loved him too and I’m in Calabar now.
Eating, smiling, standing, sitting, and sleeping was all a luxury. I was weak beyond words and sad above imagination. My heart broke more with each passing day. I looked at my dad with hate and my mum with deceit. I couldn’t believe that they would do this to me.
“Your husband is coming today, pls try to put a smile on your face” my mum told as she came into my room. ” my husband is in Lagos and I won’t smile for anybody else ” I told her …
“I’m begging you my daughter pls” she said holding my hand…
” don’t hold me” I screamed at her ” I will smile for nobody ” I added and walked out of the room leaving her seated with pain all over her face.
Immediately Jerry and his family left, I picked up my phone and sent a mail to Moses. I was going to kill myself, jump off the roof and die. I wanted my parents to live and die with the thoughts that they killed me, after all what was I living for? To marry a man i hate? Never!!!
” I wish I stayed with you when you asked me to, ran away with you when you suggested, now I feel empty, I can’t function. My life has no meaning and my heart cracks every day. I have decided to take my life because I’m incomplete without You, I just want you to know that I loved you to the very end Moses” as I sent the mail to him I took my keys and went to the roof top of my favorite restaurant.
As I stood at the roof top ready to fall, thoughts of him ran through my mind, so I decided to look at his pictures on my phone one last time then I received a mail.
” I Don’t have you but I don’t want you to leave this world, to leave me here. You are my hope and the fact that you’re alive is the reason why I am too. Love your husband half as much as you love me and you’ll be happy. If you think you can never be happy with him, trust that I’ll be here, waiting for you Dodeye.
I laid on the ground crying, should I leave this world or stay with the hope that we will be together again?
I replied him
I told you that I can’t love another, but I will go home and I’ll try to smile more, try to open my heart just a little bit to him, knowing that you’re always there for me. Maybe then, my soul will find peace and my life will have a little meaning.