So this has been an argument for a long time and I just want to put it out there again.. Let’s discuss 
Going Dutch” is a term that indicates that each person participating in a group activity pays for himself, rather than any person paying for anyone else, particularly in a restaurant bill. It is also called Dutch date, Dutchtreat (the oldest form) and “doing Dutch”.

So, in Nigeria this seems like a no no especially when a girl is out with a guy.. I’ve noticed when girls go out together, they split the bills even if only one of them orchestrated the outing.. 


Personally, I always feel the need to pay for my friends especially when I literally dragged them out..  Now, over to the boy/girl date… So let me create a scenario.. You meet this boy over the Internet or somewhere and somehow you two exchanged numbers..


You start to talk , you like him but you’re not sure you want to go on a date just yet.. He keeps asking you out on a date and then you almost reluctantly decide to oblige… You go on the date and after the date, he asks that you two split the bills. What will be your reaction? 

I do not leave my house if I don’t have enough money to pay for my meal and to transport myself back to my house.. I heard a lot of stories about boys leaving girls on dates while growing up, even if I carefully choose the kind of people I hang with, you can’t be too sure.. 

Back to the matter. I do not like drama of any sort so I’ll pay for my meal, go home and block him from my contacts.


Why will I block him? Apart from the fact that it’ll make everything awkward after that, we are not that cool, I did not want to go on the date, you begged me to.. It is good manners to pay and if a man lacks good manners, we can’t be friends.

It’s funny how men always come up with the “equality” line after this kind of behavior. Equality doesn’t only apply  to splitting bills , make women feel equal in other ways. With the way the world is now and how being romantic and a gentleman is almost outdated. The least you can do is “offer to pay for her meal”

I have male friends that I go out with and pay for their stuff.. Movie dates, food dates whatever. Most times I didn’t even want to go but because we are cool, I’ll agree to go Dutch or pay for the whole thing… 

Imagine you take the girl to a place way above her budget,that she will normally not take herself. And ask that you two split the bills? A black book is little compared to where she will write your name.Sometimes don’t do it because “WoKE” Twitter said so. I assure you they are not doing it. If it must happen, please discuss it prior to the date.. 

What are your thoughts about going Dutch? Girls do you mind? Boys do you feel cheated? 

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About Author

Dodeye

My name is Queenette Dodeye Obongha, Founder/ Curator of Dodeye's Corner. I am an Artist, Story Teller, Food/Travel enthusiast and finally "Our Mordern Day Monalisa" .

11 Comments

    I always carry my vex money when going on a date or refuse to go to a restaurant when I’m broke.
    There are other ways to hang out. I offer to spilt the bill if I hate your vibe cus that’s my “goodbye-I-did-not-take-a-dime-from-you..”

      Vex money is very important and I totally get the split the bill when I didn’t like your vibe.. But I’ll rather split with someone whose vibe I liked cos then I’ll be paying for something I enjoyed.. Thanks for your feedback ..

    Well,of course a guy should pay the bills,but it doean’t hurt if the girl offers..The problem with ‘the Nigeria mentality’ is that we feel it is the man burden to alway foot all and any monetary bill. When you take charge, a guy start to see you in a different light

      I agree that a girl should offer sometimes but this is when they get to a certain level..not the first date? Thank you for your feedback

    Pay if you feel like it! If somebody drags you out for something you would not have done otherwise, the person should pay 😂 But the chances that your girl friends are dragging you out to do something you would not otherwise do are really low, so pay for your enjoyment, but that doesn’t mean you can’t surprise your friends once in a while and pay for them. I know if they leave you Dodeye you’ll pay for everybody you take out every single time 😂

      I agree with you, if you enjoyed it, you should pay… Thank you for your feedback.. Lol Dodeye is practicing to be a billionaire.. 😂

    I honestly don’t mind going dutch but i like to be told before hand. Usually, I don’t play with vex money, I learned the hard way. If i drag the person out whether guy or girl, i pay coz it was my idea to go in the first place. I just feel it’s courtesy for a guy to pay if the link up is his idea.

      Exactly.. Courtesy to pay if linkup was their idea.. Vex money for the win 🙌🏼🙌🏼. Thanks for you feedback .

    I agree with you that a guy should pay on the first date, especially when he asked her out. And subsequently if going dutch is an option, it should be discussed prior to the outing. I have never had a problem paying other people’s bill, right from school days, i’ll pay for your bus/taxi fare, it doesn’t take anything. Most times some friends offer to pay back after d outing.. which I politely decline. If i needed u to pay back, I’d have said it from the onset and if I don’t have money to foot my own bills, i’ll sit down, except u have offered to pay.
    PS: Vex money is always important.

      I totally agree with you..

    Vex Money.Lol! Ladies I’m Absolutely Loving This. Never Split The Bill With A Girl Before.It’s Either She’s Paying For Everything Or I Am. Even When I Took This Girl Out To The Movies Then Dinner I Did All The Paying Although She Turned To Be A Bore And I Couldn’t Wait For The Ordeal To End. A Nothing Wrong With Going Dutch Though As Long As Everyone Is On The Same Page. Even

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